stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
My life is pants optional.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize