they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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