mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
