so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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