drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
You're a waste of cheezeits
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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