he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
