I just threw up on my dentist
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
