You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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