yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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