My hair reeks of homosexuality.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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