Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
