Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
