bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
