Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
