that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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