I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
