She said her name was "party"
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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