you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
