he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
