He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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