If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
