If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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