So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
