It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
