so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
