I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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