fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize