You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
