can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Randomize
