carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
