you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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