I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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