that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
