It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
