shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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