i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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