M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
