i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
