Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
