I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
