it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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