Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
