Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
