I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Drunk walkin through police station. America
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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