I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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