Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
