Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
