I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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