I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
