why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
