Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
