I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
