6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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