Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
