can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
