So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
