he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
