when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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