I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
We talked him into tasing himself.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You have to summon your inner elephant
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
