Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
