drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Randomize
