I'm gonna have a badass scar
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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