Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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