Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Randomize
