I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
