I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
