She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
